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Underwater Happiness / Underwater Bummer

by Unscrewable Pooch

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1.
Underwater Happiness 02:44
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2.
Underwater Bummer (Clam) 03:32
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about

Merù!
Merùdudududù
Merishishishish
Merishishishsquish
Mesquishishishish
Mesquishishishishishidùdù
Begin!

Today our tale takes us long ago to a time for Squid, and for Hermit Crabs; a time of Water, when there was no Surface, and everything was Deeper. Before Great Beasts backslid onto land there was the Clam Tree, and creatures were sessile, and their armor sparkled like jewels; and Clam and Mussel and Limpet reached perfection.

Restless souls and sessile Limpets; oh, woe. Countless ghosts fallen (alas) from heaven into the torpid sea of flaming hot bubbly bits, swam in the murk, translucent and spinning in circles, vulnerable and unloved. And the sea became turbid, and there was much weeping and gnashing of teeth, and that is how the sea got its salt.

Then during the Sweet Sea period (450.5-448.3 million years ago) there was much marriage, and Ghosts and Scallops danced under the watery moon of matrimony, and thus in the halls of Bakers was such a clamor and a making of Wedding Cakes that for a time, the sea overflowed with Sugar. Yet the state of all things is chaos, and to chaos reverted the Sea.

Lo, ‘twas chaos itself that pulled the wooly descendants of Ghosts and Scallops onto the shore to chew the sugar, and thus was born life on land. The able Gallops, the noble Gallops, sons and daughters of Ghosts and Scallops, munched tearfully on the sugar of land, and it seemed for a time that they had found a paradise, but Hark, the cutlass of the day swatted down PUH-SHLING!!!

From heaven and rebounded from the shells of the sons and daughters of Ghosts and Scallops, the Gallops, first sentient life on land, and the shells were too hot for the not- very wet air, and so was born great discomfort.
The first life on land was the first to crawl back into the sea.

From this civilization of Land-Cowards sprung the order of Whales, who in their first forms were snobby and weak. However, soon their sloping backs arced grandly against the blue surface of the sea; and on the other hand came Seals, like great vicious tigers; and from this Great Regression rose a fishy stink, and that is why fish stink like the sea.

And then clueless to the bottom waddled Cows, their bells swaying ineffectually, their sound blotted out in the desolate brine.

The bells revealed belles and bucsom (buxom) bovines strode from hump hay to hump hay, pining away with great steaming udders—for this was to be the first Milksmas.

THIS STORY WILL BE CONTINUED...

credits

released September 16, 2020

Trumpet, Lead and Backing Vox -- Lindsay Cook

Keyboards and Backing Vox -- Daniel Bromfield

Lead Vox, Backing Vox, Bass, Guitar, Production -- Baylor Odabashian

All songs by Daniel Bromfield and Baylor Odabashian

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Unscrewable Pooch San Francisco, California

MYTH POP, Dog Folk, Smut-Stomp and Nonsense from SF Bay Area

STATE BIRD OF NO ONE out now

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